Category Archives: fail

Oh No!

You Failed the US Citizenship Test

Oops, you only got 3 out of 10 right!

Somewhere, my history teacher is hanging his head in shame.


What will they do?

Since I won’t be able to buy a Wii tomorrow night, (my boss lady is making me come in at midnight to sell them) I was thinking I should try to come up with some figurative “hoops” to make the would be Wii’ers jump through. *laughs evilly*

Well on second thought, maybe that’s not such a good idea. As entertaining as toying with these poor folks would be, there is no doubt one of the losers will complain and then I would get fired.

Damn sissies. Always spoiling my fun.

in case you didn’t know…


Found this while browzing my confined space, just thought I’d share.

Silly Drunks

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom. A few minutes later, a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
“What’s all the screaming about in there? You’re scaring my customers!”
“I’m just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts.”
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, “You idiot! You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”

Beowulf and Grendel

“Beowulf & Grendel, starring Gerard Butler, Stellan Skarsgård and Sarah Polley, is adapted from the seminal 9th century epic poem Beowulf, which tells the bloody tale of the warrior Beowulf’s battle with Grendel, a great and murderous troll.”

I dont know what to say other than this movie looks awesome! There are some amazing actors signed onto this, so I’m expecting great things. But even if it blows, as long as Stellen Skarsgard is involved, I’ll see it anyway.


My little blogger vacation was not planned. In fact it was rather aggravating, to say the very least.

The month of August began like any other, (I’ll not bore you with the details), that is until one day around lunchtime my mother comes to my job to tell me that my phone was out of service. (What the hell? ) Honestly though, I wasn’t too concerned, I figured there was a problem with the phone line and it would be sorted out soon enough. (No big deal, right?)

But later that day I come home from work only to find that my dsl isn’t working either! (What the hell?!) So I drive to my moms house, all irate, and call the phone company. I was just beginning to tell the lady operator off when she informs me that the reason my services have been disconnected is due to lack of payment! “What?! There has obviously been some kind of mistake!” I tell her, indignant as hell, “I sent a check in weeks ago.” she continues to give me this BS about how no payment was received and I should take the matter up with the bank.

So now I call the bank. At this point it is beginning to be chore trying to play nice, but the teller who answers is one I know pretty well, and I believe her when she says she will do what she can to find out why the phone company hasn’t received payment. I wait on the line while she checks out a few things and after a few minutes of listening to her frantic typing she proceeds to tell me the reason payment wasn’t deferred was because there is no check on file! (What the Fuck?! I sent the damn thing out weeks ago!) She then tells me to try talking with someone at the post office.

Now I’m more than a little pissed off, (and since I’ve always secretly thought there was some kind of postal plot against me), I decide it might be better if I go down there in person. And as luck would have it, a friend of mine works at the local post office, so when I get there, I call her over and unload my whole sad tale. She agrees to help, and after checking the outgoing mail, the returned mail and the dead letter file, she still fails to find anything addressed to me or from me.

Now enough is enough! I’m super pissed, and all out of people to yell at, But what’s worse, is all kinds of wild conspiracy theories have started forming in my diluted little brain. So before I give in to total paranoia, I decide to check my mail one last time.

So I drive back home, go to my mailbox and what do I find? My damn phone bill! It turns out, (genius that I am), I had the bill turned the wrong way in the envelope, so that my address was facing out instead of the phone companies address. It came back the day after I sent it out and since I never check my mail, the damn thing sat in the mailbox for about three weeks! Ooops! I guess I should pay more attention to what I’m doing, or failing that, I should at least check my mail more often.